20 May, 2018
My virtual keyboard’s a clock sucking prude,
When I’m angry, and want to shout “Ships!”
It substitutes words more tucking refined,
The mother ducker really gets on my tips!
Get this! My girlfriend, last night, got off her pollocks,
She’s lying, next to me, nearly dead.
And I’m wondering, frustrated, ever-so-flummoxed,
Fingers-crossed she’ll recover, and give me…bread.
Then; a friend let me down on some tickets.
For a band I’d been thinking were pukka.
So I launched a tirade; “that’s bull sit you grunt!”
“You’re a mother ducking plucking clock trucker!”
Yes; my text speak nanny is a muddy ducker,
Why shouldn’t I scream: “I’m pluck doff!”
It gives me the urge to launch the phone in the gutter!
‘cause the bulls hit prothesis me off!
But worse; eventually, it starts to predict,
How you meant to respond to your mother.
So when you intended: “Of course, perfect!”
Rather, you send: “Get lost, fucker!”
Oops! So I have some very prudent advice.
Disable keyboard nanny when you’re home.
Don’t bank on your shitty motherfucking device.
Instead, learn to spell on your own.
Prudictive Text by Steven Huckle is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
Based on a work at https://glowkeeper.github.io/assets/poetry/Prudictive/.